Me too!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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