Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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