This is not my ceiling
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
