I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
