i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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