I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
