Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
