I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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