turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
