Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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