The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
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