Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
