okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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