Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
