if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
