would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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