There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
