dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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