another moral hangover. fuck.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
