you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
