so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
