I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You made out with two different species that night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize