i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
