What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize