i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He did a backflip because drugs
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