THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
