just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
