this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
