Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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