What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
