dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
