I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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