dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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