If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
