do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
