I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
God, I missed his penis.
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