first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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