well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
