Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
