just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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