If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
