Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
