I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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