:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Bring me that man meat
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
