I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize