So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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