I want to stick my p in your. b.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
