I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
