i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
