Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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