farters have to be the big spoon...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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