Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
