If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
