We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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