I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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