I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
