i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
