We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
