Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
