you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
