I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
