Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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