So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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