why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
