when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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