haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
