Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
